Greetings!
I found this page again today. Something I had totally forgotten about. The last post dates back 5 years, and the first post must be from 2006!!!
It is interesting to see that I had been struggling with some of the same dilemmas then, and to see that some of my issues have changed. In a sense this post right now is quite senseless since I don't think anybody used to read these then, and in honesty who remembers Blogspot?
But instead of doing something new from scratch, it's not a bad idea to be in continuation of the same journey. A sort of digital footprint and a testament. At this point in my last months of my third decade of living, I feel I need therapy.
In many ways this feeling of the need for renewal is filled with fears. I see the seemingly genuine efforts of the past, and see that I didn't achieve what I was too afraid to mention and ask for, and in the same vain my efforts now might be doomed for the same scattering. In some ways this is a blog about being out-of-practice, at least with blog keeping! And as I constantly feel, with music, and though I have lived all these years, teaching music, arranging, conducting, planning, organizing concerts, talking and thinking about music; there is ultimately the feeling of being out-of-practice with MY music.
In other ways though, this time I am hearing some words of encouragement, sometimes ever so faintly. And after all I'm older now and and compared to 2015, I have courageously enough managed some very intense and risky twists and turns in the road, and have proven a sense of response-ability to myslef. And a big other difference is that I am now no more alone. And I have come to the understanding that for me, life is not to be lived alone.
So what's different this time? This might be my midlife crisis. I have lost some hair. There is a pandemic, which gave me a chance to connect to my musical self a bit, and practice somewhat. These days I have a little bit more time. And I'm actually sharing material online, music and videos, and thanks to the pandemic there is more interest and it makes sense to share things there.
In fact I have a few little personal projects going. Some not so little, some little.
Let's mention them so I can see if any are done the next time I check in, perhaps in 2025.
- Ostad Bahari solo imitation (Afshari) - 80% done
- Gabelet's Jig (needs about 3-4 days of work if I want to do those 3rds)
- Dobriden (I have made a track already but not the quality I am happy with)
- Sharing the SoloTrio Improvisation from 2006 or so. (I want an animation with it).
- Other kamanche stuff: Abu-Ata Lotfi / some Alizadeh stuff?
